I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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