I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
did i just pee glitter
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
