Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
