Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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