before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
