Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
