Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's shark week go big or go home
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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