drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
