Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize