i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
