you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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