I love black thongs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
