Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
