You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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