and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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