He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
