Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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