Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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