fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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