Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
