Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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