I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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