How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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