garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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