i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
