Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
A+ Viking dick
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
