6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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