Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
