im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
