i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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