its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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