The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
