Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
