I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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