so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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