I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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