would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
