I wish my penis had an off switch
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
