He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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