I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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