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You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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