I feel like I'm in dance class right now
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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