we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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