A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
