I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
"it" just moved
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
