beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
