I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm passing your future prison.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
