He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
