I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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