I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
