You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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