Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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