Welp...herpes.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
