every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
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If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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