i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
