I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
