By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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