god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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