this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
