And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
