she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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