is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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