you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
